Stop It With the Porn
By Anthony Belsky
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The topic of porn has always been a hot-button issue, and there are studies that either side of the argument uses that are beneficial to their side. Like many statistics, they can be easily adjusted to fit the wanted narrative, and I had written a version of this that was heavy with statistics. When editing it with Emma, I learned that the statistics were both true and false because, again, if someone wanted to spin any statistics, it could help or hurt my argument. I rather not go back and forth, debating the interpretations of statistics, so I decided to rewrite this all and tackle the moral grounds of porn.
There is no reason to beat around the bush. Porn according to many, is an addiction. Those who use pornography for sexual pleasure are often said to become more demanding in relationships and can’t achieve sexual gratification with their partners. Dopamine is the chemical that is released in your brain experiences pleasure. Sex, cocaine, exercise, food, and other things that bring the mind a sense of pleasure. Dopamine, because it makes the brain feel happy, it is a constant feeling the brain wants. Just think about it. Don’t you want to be happy all the time? It is a feeling that the brain is always chasing. People with depression many times are given anti-depressives that release dopamine into the brain.
When you have sex, the brain releases dopamine, and when the brain is no longer happy with the amount being released, it will call for more. It is almost like you are chasing a high from a drug that you can’t reach again. Many argue that you can’t get addicted to dopamine because it is natural in the body, but I believe you can get addicted to going feelings and whatever is creating that good feeling becomes the addiction. If you feel good after having sex or masturbating, why wouldn’t you want to stop?
If you watch porn, think of the first thing you ever watched and now look at what you watch. I’m sure it has significantly escalated because the light stuff no longer affects your brain and dopamine levels.
Porn is also a directed and scripted video. It is not natural. The pizza guy isn’t going to have sex with you, and the nurses never dress like that. It is not a natural act, you can actually look up the scripts to porn videos online and see the lines and actions that have to happen. It even tells them when to orgasm. Does that sound natural to you?
It gives you a false sense of what sex is like. Many times sex is awkward, and you are trying to figure out what to do and if it feels normal and natural. It is not something most people are smooth at. These videos are filmed multiple times, at multiple angles, in perfect lighting, and on sets that are set up with everything they need to make a perfect scenario. More times than not, you will not have all the, for lack of better terms, equipment that these people have for sexual pleasure. Most times, if you name one of these things to someone, they won’t know what it is or that it is even used for sex.
Porn also gives a false sense of body image. Many of us don’t look like that. I once was talking to a girl who used to watch porn a lot and suffered from an ED because she wanted to look like the women in the videos and feared no man would want to have sex or be with her if she didn’t look like that. She told me that her biggest insecurity was her breast because they were different sizes. When she found out that it is normal and many women have two different size breasts, her insecurities started to wash away. Also, let’s not mention that it is common for women in porn to have implants. Not that it is bad, but it happens.
The women are always skinny, and the men many times have six-packs. As much as I work out and eat healthy, I’m nowhere near, and so are many other people, what those people look like. And that is okay, you don’t need a perfect body to have sex, and this is not supposed to be a cheesy body positivity line, but it is true. You don’t need to look like the people in porn to have sex or feel good in your skin. It is an untenable body image, and for something as vulnerable as sex is, it’s not healthy to compare yourself to them.
Also, porn is riddled with violence towards women, especially. I am someone and call me a prude if you want, who thinks you should never hit a woman even if she wants it. I’ve spoken with many people who talked about porn, and for some odd reason, many people openly talk to me about their sexual urges. I guess they feel I won’t judge or something. But what they tell me about what they want to do to someone or have done to them is pretty distributing, and when researching this, I looked up some of the top terms that people look for: whipped, bondage, underage, torture, etc.—messed up topics that people are trying to get aroused too.
Porn gives a false sense of what sex is, and also, I fear that it gives both men and women a false sense of ourselves and the people we have sexual interactions with. The normalization of violence, especially against women, in those videos and the unhealthy body standards mix those two things together with the fact most people view porn as sex-ED, and you have a horrible ending result on your hands. The sex industry is also riddled with the human trafficking of young women and men and embodies modern-day slavery. PornHub alone has had to take down millions of videos because of this and have been sued on multiple occasion of women having their rape videos posted on that.
This is not a good way to learn about sex. Sex can be one of the greatest things because it connects you in a more profound way with a person you care about, but porn and our culture’s obsession are only hurting us more. You can argue and debate about statistics all you want, and I’m not here to do that, but think about what you are watching and how you view the opposite sex because of that. How is that going to potentially harm you in the future? Only you can determine that.